Round Two
Round Two
Round Two
LOGLINE
When a long-absent daughter and her son move back into a crowded, animal-filled household, a stubborn father struggles to keep control as everyday family conflicts escalate into nonstop word-fights and... maybe more.
WRITER
Tamara LeMoyne
FORMAT
TV Pilot
GENRE
Multi-Cam Family Comedy
STRENGTHS
Jack, arrogant with a kind heart, carries the show, and the cocky, dark, sarcastic dialogue is excellent. A relatable cultural-identity hook in a contained, low-budget setting.
NOTES
Malik and Danny blend together and need distinct voices. Some action lines need a reread for clarity.
VERDICT
Script: Consider. Writer: Recommend. Real series potential with sharper secondary characters.
LOGLINE
When a long-absent daughter and her son move back into a crowded, animal-filled household, a stubborn father struggles to keep control as everyday family conflicts escalate into nonstop word-fights and... maybe more.
WRITER
Tamara LeMoyne
FORMAT
TV Pilot
GENRE
Multi-Cam Family Comedy
STRENGTHS
Jack, arrogant with a kind heart, carries the show, and the cocky, dark, sarcastic dialogue is excellent. A relatable cultural-identity hook in a contained, low-budget setting.
NOTES
Malik and Danny blend together and need distinct voices. Some action lines need a reread for clarity.
VERDICT
Script: Consider. Writer: Recommend. Real series potential with sharper secondary characters.